Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Moving Forward.

Ever get stuck in a rut of nothingness? the blahs? the "I can'ts and I won'ts" --a toxic mixture of ennui and procrastination tinged with non-motivating panic?

My cold which hung on for two weeks had a lot to do with it, the fact that these are the darkest days of the year had even more, and the fact that Christmas is bearing down relentlessly probably made a substantial contribution as well.

I am behind. Every day this month I have bemoaned this fact to myself.

the table on December 1st

But I felt completely powerless.

the desk on December 2nd

Days steamrolled right on by and there was nothing I could do but pop in videos of Mad Men and watch from Season One to Four all over again. Once in a while I resolved to do something about it all. I know because I took "before" pictures.

the desk on December 13th:

the table, the same day:

I'm not showing you these nasty pics to embarrass myself, but to try and show you the sheer oppressiveness of it all. This, some would say, is the state not of my dining room only, but the state of my mind--tuned inside out and exposed for all to see. And if it isn't, it might as well have been.

Today, something changed. (Thank goodness)

Maybe it was simply getting out of the house for a while to go to my periodontist appointment, but something in me shifted. (Treatment did not go as well as hoped. They now have to peel back my gums and really clean things up under there closer to the bone. It isn't gum surgery, though. Not quite. Fortunately, I don't have to fret about it until February.)

When I got home, I took a couple of "before" pictures and got busy in the dining room.



After working in the room for half an hour, there seemed to be some progress.



Another 15 minutes and things began to shape up.

I know it looks worse--but look closely at that top tray--it's empty!


Things looked like this after an hour. An hour!



I kept puttering about while chatting with my daughter about her day at school, my husband calling to tell me he was on his way home (my cue to thaw the meat for supper in the microwave) and so on. Still, I was shocked to see these "done for now" photos time stamped a whole hour after the previous photos.

This isn't done. The two piles on the left need folders--the pile on the right is a mish mash of stuff that needs to be squirreled away somewhere.

I'd love to put a Christmasy centrepiece here, but for now it is home to boxes of tile. (sigh). That lampshade is going to be returned. It's lined with a shiny blue fabric and I don't like it.

I can't promise I will get cracking on all the Christmas stuff left to do, but at least now I feel like forward movement is possible.

Bit by bit.


Carol-Anne (Use the Good Dishes!) said...

Was there something that triggered this 'rut'? Or did it just come out of nowhere?

I'm sorry you're struggling. While I don't have this happen regarding house stuff, I DO have it happen with a number of other parts of my life and it's just horrible! Mine is tied to a struggle with depression....so I just try to wait it out and work on the root of the problem.

Hope this helps and hope you continue to feel better.

Happy Christmas, My "Blog Friend"!

scb said...

You did amazingly well!

I'm noting that the spurt of energy/motivation occurred after being outside. Did you ever buy one of those lamps that gives you the benefit of sun-like light for these dark days?

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