Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Week 1:4 Wardrobe Therapy. The Quiz.

Wardrobe Therapy?
What's this?
You can read all about it here. Wende in Phoenix has decided to expand MGR's approach to curing one's appartment to curing one's wardrobe. Since I still live in one or two pairs of favourite pants and my Mother's hand-me-down T-shirts, I thought I might play along and see what happens.

The Quiz.

More Favorites.
Candidate for "Best Dressed," real or fictional.
I hate these questions. All they do is reveal my complete cultural illiteracy. I picked up a copy of something, Us, I think, in some waiting room somewhere. I didn't recognize one person. Truly. I guess, of those I know, I'd have to say Katherine Hepburn: as she dresses, on her own. So sensible. And, oddly, enough, Martha Stewart. Not as she dresses herself--I have no idea how she dresses herself, but how her people dress her. She always looks good in her ads and you never notice what's she's wearing. Which is sort of the point.

Favorite garment/outfit EVER.
A dark blue with tiny white polka dot scoop neck dress with a little flip skirt from the Gap. And I mean little. It fell somewhere on my thighs, well above my knees. It's the shortest thing I've ever worn. I accessorised with sheer black hose and ankle height "granny" boots and dangly hoop earrings. I was hot. This was, oh, 10 years ago now.

Current favorite garment.
A grey wool sweater...but the sleeves fall into my dishwater and it's very warm to it's reserved for when I leave the house.

Favorite thing to wear, if reality weren't an issue in any way, shape, or form.
Anything that needs ironing.

Favorite store, given unlimited wealth.
Again, I'm completely ignorant of what's out there.

Favorite fashion faux-pas story to tell, now that the scars have healed.
The scars haven't healed.

How You Live & the People Around You

If there were a uniform for the place where you spend most of your time, what would it be?

If there were a uniform for where you spend your leisure, what would it be?
um, PJ's?

Your Wardrobe

What is the problem with your wardrobe?
Wardrobe? What wardrobe?

If your wardrobe could speak, what would it say is the problem?

Thank you for getting rid of the light teal corduroy pants, even though they fit. We didn't like her. She was loud and obnoxious. And those black stretchy pants you wear all the time? We never see her anymore--but honey, the last time we did she had holes where she shouldn't you know what we're saying? And what's with you anyway? Why do we just hang here all the time: we never go anywhere. Honey, give us some love--or give us to somebody who will love us. You sure don't.

We want you to look good when you leave the house, heck sweetheart, we want you to look good even when you are in the house! You say nothing will look good on you because you are so thick around the middle (and the arms and the thighs and the...) but honey, get off your butt and do something about it! It's not our fault we don't suit you. And, admit it, it's true, you have actually seen fat people dressed well. You could be one of those. Don't waste your life wishing it was different. Change it--either get out there and walk (yes, yes, we know all about your feet problems but you don't know if they are fixable or not, so find out!) or get us some company that will make you (and us) proud!

What one thing do you want your wardrobe to do more of?
Wash itself.

What do you want people to say about your wardrobe?
She always looks so put together.
She's so well-dressed (for a fat person).


zooza said...

Ha! Shall we start a PJ wearers society? Campaign for the to be acceptable garments for socialising and supermarket trips?

On a more serious note, it looks like we have the same decision to make - change the body or change the wardrobe? I have decided to accept my dumpy proportions and change the wardrobe. The challenge is how to do that and become well dressed (for a fat person). I suspect it has a lot to do with confidence.

I would like a self-washing wardrobe, too, now you mention it...

drwende said...

Change the wardrobe!

Your body has way more capacity to fight back. Also, many of the non-dumpy out there on People's Best Dressed list have benefited not only from lucky genes and personal trainers, but also from plastic surgery and air-brushing.

It's the air-brushing that gets me -- if after all that celebs spend on beauty, they still need to have their tummies air-brushed out to look "perfect," then it's totally unfair to ask the rest of us to emulate their "perfection."

Mella DelPantano said...

Not to mention that attaining non-dumpiness is by no means the magic secret to achieving wardrobe happiness and sartorial joy. The world has no shortage of the frumpy slim. Figuring out how to present the most competent, comfortable version of Me is a chore we all have to tackle regardless of measurements or bank balance.

Martha Stewart - good thought! Definitely a successful example of her (or her handlers') particular sensibility.

drwende said...

There's now a new post on my site that is totally inspired by Alana's depression.

Alana, I'll also tackle coming up with a list of Style Tray (or maybe shopping) resources tonight... it's scary when I'm one of the people considered to be in touch with pop culture, as by most standards, I'm not!

smallcitybeth said...

You know, Alana and Zooza, you're both so active in the cure, and so competent in what you do, that I just assumed you would be slender and fit. That's what the media does to us, I think -- makes us think that only the slim have the potential to really do stuff, and to be stylish. Let's show 'em, y'all!!!!!

Lynn said...

To echo Beth, I made the same assumption in picturing you both as the kind of completely-with-it people who would already have your wardrobes taken care of and look as put together as your homes do at the end of apartment therapy- or as the examples of put-together people I will be searching for... !

Alana in Canada said...

Lynn, Beth--aren't you wonderful!
Yes, I've totally bought into the "slim=stylish" or competant or however it is you want to put it! So, I take it as a HUGE compliment from both of you.
I'm flattered beyond words. It is frustrating to be havier than I want to be, not just beacuse it's unattractive, but beacuase it doesn't really fit my (media-based) image of myself, either. I look down and say "this body is not who I am"--and that's true--so why on Earth do I say that in anguish?

Alana in Canada said...

Wow--my computer keys sure are sticky. Anyone know how to fix that?

Mella DP said...

Sticky as in someone's been typing while eating glazed donuts, or as in don't go up and down smoothly? For the former rub each with a *barely* damp (with water or rubbing alcohol) cloth or tissue or cotton swab; for the latter...I don't know, vacuum it? Or compressed air.

Alana in Canada said...

Thanks Mella.
As in the former. Thing 10 year old boy and Halloween candy!

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