Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Reverb: One Word*

(This morning, 8:30am)

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell from reverb10)

If I were to pick a safe word, it would be change. I started scrapping earlier this year after a long hiatus. I took lots of classes at Simplify 101 to help me change my habits in my household and learn to run it better. On our vacation we went places no one but me had ever been before. And I put my daughter in public school: a huge change I'm still adjusting to. Yep. Change. Safe word.

But I don't like change.

If I'm honest, then the word I have to choose is angry. I am angry. I have been angry all year. Angry that while I did my scrapbooking, life around me fell apart. No one else, it seems, can get meals or do laundry or do all the dishes in one go. There's always something left for me to come along and do.

I am angry that that I broke my foot and was immobile for several weeks. And it's funny. I didn't gain back the forty pounds I lost in 2008 then, but later, after my foot was better. I'm angry about my weight too. Spitting mad, actually.

And I am angry at the fact I had to send my daughter to school. I miss her terribly.

But where is all this anger going?
It attacks my loved ones.
How am I dealing with it?
I'm not. Yelling is not coping.
Not coping well at all.

In a year from now?
What should my word be?
Obvious, isn't it?


I have no idea how to get there from here.

*note: I'm not sure I'm committing to this. I may have too much on my plate already. Yet, I want a change, I need a change. So, perhaps I ought to do something different--like be real--or something.

1 comment :

Pen said...

I'm sorry to hear that anger was such a feature of your 2010, and I hope 2011 brings you more joy, peace and all such good things :)

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