Two Steps Forward and One Step Back Equals One Great Leap Forward*

(patience, we'll get to it.)

1st STEP FORWARD:

I noticed I hadn't paid a utility bill I thought I had--and I owed this month, last month, and the month before. Turned out I had paid the wrong company! So, I sat down and figured out how much money I would have between now and the next pay cheque if I paid it and all the other bills which come due between now and then.

I'm ashamed to say, this is the first time in my life I have ever really done this! I will be doing this from now on--on a schedule in accord with my husband's pay cheques. I feel a spreadsheet a'comin' on.


2nd STEP FORWARD:

I went to a second hand store I have always loathed and hated (Value Village) and found my daughter a winter jacket (with hood) in her favourite colours (pink and purple, shudder) and coordinating snow pants. Cost: $15.00. I was absolutely thrilled!

Then, we went to Wally World to buy underwear. I probably spent 15 minutes talking her out of underwear that had "pictures" on it (priced at 9 for $10)so I could buy her 12 pairs for $6.00. I found some with butterflies, so she accepted them.


THE STEP BACK:

The washing machine quit. Well, not entirely. Actually, it simply stopped agitating. Of course it did! I almost laughed at the inevitable timeliness of it.

We did a ton of research on the Internet last night--pulled the agitator out of the machine (with ropes and a 1x2 and all sorts of groans, grunts and drama)--and we diagnosed our problem--as it turns out, correctly! The agitator coupling--or the plastic bit which connects the agitator to the gizmo/gear which actually does the agitating was completelyl worn on the inside where it attaches to the gear/gizmo.

How much does this vital bit of plastic cost? $7.55. The husband bought it this morning and had to buy a new bolt to go with it. Total cost: $10.00


THE GREAT LEAP FORWARD:

Two weeks ago, my husband's Skilsaw stopped working. Just up and quit. He says to me, "You can get me a Skilsaw for Christmas and you know, I'd really like one of those with the base."

Last week, we looked through a few fliers. They are way more than we really want to pay right now.

Late, late last night my one and only says to me: "Hey, look up Skilsaws."

It could just be another $10.00 repair!

***************************************
*No references to Communism intended.

PS. The first load of clothes I washed came out cleaner than I've seen our clothes in a long, long time.

I never knew...

My emotions are all out of whack these days. Angry words fly out of my mouth before I even know I'm angry. If I feel sad, I'm sobbing uncontrollably within minutes. The only thing I'm not experiencing to extreme is joy--and I don't want to think about that, or I'll start crying again. Sheesh.

It's dangerous, though. My usual "coping Strategy" for emotion is to smoke. (Surprise!) I was feeling the urge very strongly this morning...and realised that what was upsetting me would not go away if I had a cigarette. To boost that thought, I did a little reading. I'm shocked.

I learned a few things about smoking I never "knew" before.

• Cigarettes are one of the few consumer products that aren't regulated. I knew this--it just hasn't ever struck me before as a rather dangerous thing.


• Nicotine acts as a vasoconstrictor, meaning it decreases the diameter of your blood vessels and makes it more difficult for blood to flow throughout the body; nicotine also contributes to increased arterial plaque buildup. This forces the heart to work harder and can lead to higher blood pressure and heart attack. More obvious effects of nicotine are cold or clammy hands and feet. Although the heart works harder to pump blood through narrow blood vessels, it isn’t strong enough to get enough blood to the hands and feet to keep them warm.
  Hooray! I'm looking forward to having warmer hands and feet!


• Carbon Monoxide mechanism of action:
  Every single cell in the body requires oxygen to stay alive. Normally, red blood cells carry oxygen throughout the body by attaching it to a molecule called hemoglobin. Think of this as a lock and key process… When oxygen (the key) attaches into hemoglobin (the lock), everything is good. Your muscles work efficiently and your body is happy. However, when you smoke, carbon monoxide attaches itself to hemoglobin in place of oxygen and is carried throughout the body. As a result, you start to feel tired, sluggish, and short of breath since your brain, muscles, and lungs are not getting enough oxygen. Eventually the carbon monoxide falls off or the red blood cells are replaced; however, more carbon monoxide enters the body through continued smoking.
  I really do feel more energetic. And it has come as a complete surprise. Last night I was looking up exercises on the net. I feel more "alive" too--even though my concentration has been utterly shot these past few days!

It's funny. I feel like I've lost ten pounds. I actually got on the scales to check--and I was perplexed to note that I've actually gained (about 3, nothing to worry about). But now that I know this about the CO, it makes sense to me.

This morning, I walked briskly--two times! Once on the way to Church and once on the way back. I have no idea how many years it has been since I've walked briskly. It was really cold out there--especially with the wind. I didn't even realise how fast I was walking until my daughter started lagging behind after walking with me for only five minutes!

I have always blamed my colds hands and feet on my weight. I have always blamed my shortness of breath on my weight, too. (After all, it only came upon me after exertion. If I didn't move, I was fine!) I have always blamed my sluggishness on my lack of sleep.

It's funny--knowing all this is great--but it doesn't relieve me from having to fight the battle of my urge to smoke. Strange. It's like the cravings have a life of their own completely separate from my brain or will. I just have to hold out one minute longer than the craving.

JUST.

ONE MINUTE.

MORE.

Keep praying, if you do. Thanks.

Added Later--
My Mom came over today. I went to give her a hug--and had to back away. Ugh. The smell! (She's a smoker).
My husband has not complained about the smell ever...not once in eleven years. I'm beginning to think he's "smelling-impaired." Man, I wish I still was.

3 Days Quit

The QuitNet gadget stats this morning:

• 3 Days, 12 hours, 50 minutes 16 seconds smoke free


• 88 cigarettes not smoked


• $33.66 and 16 hours of my life saved.

Strangely, I don't actually feel all that different--could be the combination of the meds and the patch. The urges are passing, but I'm still fighting the first and last smoke of the day, and the one after every meal.

This is progress!

The Longest Day

This is from Quitnet--I used the dog's name for a username!

Isn't that neat?
I love it.

Though this day really can't be over too soon.

Tomorrow.

Today is my son's 11th Birthday. He'll get all sorts of great presents he wants--and when the stress of the day is over, I'll give him another present tomorrow. He won't think it exciting. In fact, he probably won't even notice it. And it won't be his gift exclusively, either.

Yep, I'm going on the patch!

Cigarettes now cost about $96 for a carton of 8 packs. I smoke(d) a pack a day. That's $360.00/month.

Wish me luck.

Another Duh Moment...

We're working on creating a budget--and I've set an amount for spending on food.

I'm trying to keep to that--even though I blew 2/3rds of the food budget before I'd read up on Dave Ramsey, reacquainted myself with Ms. Hunt, etc...

Last night I had to go out for dog food and a couple of other things.

For the first time in YEARS, I looked at the receipt when I got home.

There it was: $30.85 for the bag of dog food and $17.85 for a six pack of paper towels. In both cases, I had simply grabbed the wrong package.

So, I took them back to the store again. With tax, I was refunded $50.52

You know what I bought, then?
Tiny baking M&M's to decorate my son's upcoming Birthday cake.
A small bulk food bag of chocolate almonds.
A big brick of cheese.
Two 750g containers of yogurt.
6 Paper towels
dog food
a package of 12 buns
Grand Total: $41.19

Wow.
It's always a good idea to check the receipt. (Duh.) I don't even want to think about what I may have missed over the years.

Not chortling, anymore....

The furnace has been something of a wake-up call for me.

Let's just say, I now fully understand what the husband means when he says, "We can't afford it, we have debt."

In the past, I read Mary Hunt. Last weekend, I read Dave Ramsey. They say essentially the same thing. It's so reassuring. I like Ramsey's plan over Mary's only because Ramsey wisely advises doing things one step at a time. Perhaps I mis-read Ms. Hunt, but when I tried her program in the past, I tried to implement everything at once--it was slow going and very fragile. Something came up, I forget what (probably a repair on an old truck we no longer own) and de-railed everything until we are at the point we are at today.

We are very lucky--the husband has always insisted we not use the credit card for anything except "emergencies." We can pay that off in full by the next statement date. The bugaboo, is, of course, our line of credit (wherein 100% of our debt--of all kinds) resides. It's a Home Equity loan --so it's actually piddly in comparison to the "value" of our home--but it isn't "piddly" with respect to my husband's annual income. If nothing else, this economic crises has wakened me to the precariousness of taking on debt someone else thinks you can afford.

Nu uh. Not anymore.
We get to decide--and so we're taking control.

Wish us luck.
(We've already had our first tiff.)